Thursday, July 23, 2009

Time and Change.


time a dry sea that washes through the fiber if every breath, of every heart beat, of every soul. we all sail, or voyage, or swim in this cold all encompassing sea.

time, the eventual ticking down in measured rhythm, constant, monotonous till for each and everyone of us the ticking stops and we are each devoured, drowned by the ultimate silents, the everlasting sleep of oblivion at the silted bottom of the salt sea of time.

we are time. bundled around us and strapped tightly to bone and muscle, sinew and breath. we are a stitched together bundle of moments, fluid and seamless, moments and experiences, feelings and hopes, dreams and possibility, grief and laughter, woven into each of us,we are a pattern so intricate so original that each is distinct from the other. no two are the same. so unique, it is impossible to reproduce a copy, the copy may on the thin shallow surface seem similar, but sink beneath this mirror and one will discover that the differences are vast.

we cannot be duplicated, time and space and thought and emotion defies the futile attempts of us frail limited mortals to transcends our essence, our bundle of body and blood, skin and emotion and thought cannot be reproduced.

each of us are a pattern unto ourselves.

unique and limited. we are victims of our time.

we are adrift in the salt sea of time, at the mercy of wind and sun and storm, at the mercy of tide and currents. this tumultuous sea pulls and pushes, tosses and throws us with its capricious whim. but all to one end, the same end we all in time embrace, we all succumb to the drift of time, and eventually we are sucked under never to emerge.

the salt sea takes us without foresight, without fore knowledge.

on rare moments a rogue wave will carry us to its great crest, and for the briefest of fleeting moments we catch a glimpse of the sun beating down upon the infinity of undulating waves on an endless sea. and then for one breath of a moment there is understanding and insight, but it evaporates as quickly and unexpectedly as it came.

time has a conjoined twin, change. as time moves through us and we move through time, change weaves its fabric into the very root of our essence. change and time are one, one does not, can not exist without the other.

life is so fleeting, so fragile, and in constant flux!

the universe, stars, planets and constellations are in constant motion, and constant change. on a cellular lever every particle that makes up our physical body are in constant motion, and constant flux.

this dry sea of time, we are unable to grasp. we in our arrogance attempt to capture and tangle it in our trembling finger, but time billows away as if it were thick dark smoke, or a mist so thick it clings to us but defies our desperate clutching and clawing hands

in this sea we are unable to find a mooring, a safe haven, a port to rest in this inhospitable expanse of dry sea.

at best we can cling to a belief, and illusion, but even the strongest held Faith cannot hold back the tides of change. it is inevitable, the the callus sea of time will alter, bend, erode, twist, contort, and even destroy what we believe to be solid, to be unchanging, to be for ever.

what ever our mooring, whatever we cling to, whatever we believe, will inevitably be altered by the constant rub and crash of the tides and waves of time.

the tide of my sea has captured me in the wake of its silver gale, a storm that has tattered sails, broken ruder, and has tossed this voyager on a tumultuous sea.

i scramble to make some seance of this maelstrom that is casting me about. i cling to some tattered remnants of who i am, and where i have been, and where this storm will take me.

i am a voyager, and on this voyage i have grown gray, and have diminished in strength and vigor, the ravages of this sea as weathered my face, aged my soul, scared and mutated my spirit, yet thow my sails are in ribbons and ruder is splintered, i master my despair, repress my fear and anxiety, and voyage on.

time and change has captured this voyager, and now, weakened, tired, and old, i surrender to time and her sister change, and to the will of this unforgiving sea.

i will travel where i am taken, embrace where this undulating sea takes me, and take joy where i can, find Solis if possible, and seek the warmth of a kindred spirit if i am so lucky.

but change has taken hold, and all i have the strength to do is to ride out the remained of this silver storm,

and hope that for the brief remainder of this voyage i am able to find some joy to sooth this tattered scared soul.

5 comments:

Avachild said...

Time is such an oblivious tormentor. I'm sure that is unaware of the strength and power it has to control and push. So often I feel mocked or taunted by time, when it is breathing down my neck. Worse I believe is when I feel ignored by time.

You have such a way with words, I've been enjoying your writings, thank you.

Charli said...

"I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters, and read each one aloud
I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on"

oh sorry.....got carried away there. need I say that this touched me deeply, in many ways.

A poignant beauty it is.

Charli

Charli said...

more?

"Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly... with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly... with his song"

*smile*

finbar said...

Avechild, i agree with you that time is such a tormentor, and it is frustrating when one feels they never have enough time.

welcome to my blog, and thank you for the flattery, I'm glad that you have enjoyed my writing.!!

Charli, i love that song, the Roberta flack version. it is such a soulful poignant song.

my thoughts are with you charli, and i know that you too have a understanding of change, and an understanding of what it takes to weather storm after storm.

S. said...

Finbar,

Mention anything of the sea, and I sail along with you, but this entire piece was truly captivating and equally thought-provoking.

My compliments...