Monday, December 17, 2018

dregs and ash




Blair your darkness has come and gone
your night is now over
you moved throw the clutter and disarray
you moved past the empties
and you were captured by an affliction
there was no cure for your disease

But you were lost in your visions
reaching to capture bliss before last call
but you never could escape the anguish
all you ever gained
was a return to painful days
filled with dregs and ash
and a glass of wine and myrrh.

That night we roamed the maples
you burned all the choices
you glided through it's smoke
and you and I danced
past all the losses
you stumbled on the dance floor
you mumbled all your excuses
you spun around the perimeter
grasping for a sign
but you could never read the prophecies
nor the coming of closing time.

Your eyes showed no answers
they had lost the power of sight
and were unable to see into the night.
I tried to reach beyond
I tried to pass inside
I tried to share your rapture
but there was only vinegar in your glass
and an empty on the bar.

Blair your night is over
and I didn't see you leave
now only dregs and ashes remain
somewhere in the bar
somewhere lurking in the smoke
somewhere sleeps your answer
hidden in that empty on the floor


Trapped in the stupor that you traveled
unable to hold the light
there was only I left standing
you fell between the tables
hidden from my sight

I tried to reach beyond
I tried to get inside
I tried to share your rapture
but there was only vinegar in your glass
and an empire on the bar.

Blair you eyes were no answer
there was no inner light
I watched as the dreams dispelled
I saw them spill upon the floor
Blair I discovered in the shadows
that your face was already cold
in the predawn I discovered
you were already an apparition
all your lust was wounds
all your passions were lacerations
I found in the pail glare from you
that only the dregs and ashes remain.


In that darkened bar
only a specter of you remained
Blair, all the voices were garbled
the tables were cluttered and empty
we should have waltzed together
I should have understood
I should have read the signs
of the absents in your eyes.

Your flesh was used to much
there was no cure you could ingest
but the smoke and music were to much
it all conspired to lead you out of step
you trailed after the flames
you danced a note behind.

Your voice echoed in me
your words just fell from the air
there were moments when the rhythm wasn’t there
still you spent the night aimlessly moving
capering around the edge
hoping to capture a vision
promising escape from your affliction.

We were lost together
we were dizzy with the passing
but it was you had the disease
I tried to touch you
I tried to read your eyes
but when I touched your hollow face
when I tried to reach into your void
I found your glass spilled and
your bottle filled with wine and myrrh.

Blair, believe me
I tried to reach beyond
I tried to get inside
I longed to share your rapture
but I discovered to late
there was only vinegar in your glass
and all that you left behind
all that you left in my hands
was only dregs and ash
and an empty on the bar.

Saturday, December 1, 2018

my love, XIII: i ache and ache,


my love,
even in the darkest stories your shadow becomes air, and drinks the bitter mood of earth and water and i lay in this river, this bed of smooth stones of biting history and your hands fill the darkness
of my mouth and you spill into me the  lies of your flesh  and i gather the smooth stones of your dreams of others.

and you drown me in the swift rivulets  of your passing and the darkening sky that you are, fills the
hollows of my cupped hands and i ache for your passing for the chaffing wind to dig into my tender side, and leak my heart into the stream of flowing rocks,

the air of my sight trembles as the night losses itself to flesh and opens the creases of your body and holds you on the precipice and the precipice gasps its hungry mouth for you and moves along the firm curves of your body and you tremble and shake and leak a warm stream of ghosts, for your hands to dream.


and the darkness warms your body and  presses deep into your recesses, till you are full and stretched and you gasp and tatter the light and dark  with your fictions  as you tumble from the light of your need to the consuming arms of my absents,

and the gap that i have become that i fell into becomes the wash of time and carried me beyond the tick of emptiness till im swallowed into the longing emptiness of what resides on the other side of flesh,

my love
 the sound of it all drops sighs and hands into the clinging warmth of lost and  gone. and the memory of my hand stitches history into the stream of not me that you gasp. and i ache and ache.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My Love: X Into Your Parched Sea

my love,

the depth of your awakened light devours the flesh of bone and
when i sip the light  between destinies and despair i know the roots of marrow empty me and i swim into embraces that slumber in flesh, the ice of your winter bores into me extinguishing the fires tide, chilling the sleeping earth,

and when your absents sounds as sand in wind and you become a desert, i swim the dust into false summer, and my body empties of burning blue and the glare of passions leak into the shadow of beloved.

my  love.
you claim the warm air and storms that fill your breasts, the blistering kisses from you scolds my loneliness, burns my despair and nourishes the spreading desert, a sea as full as the soul,

the naked lightning whispers the hollow of your shoulders till the cascades of thirst falls from the sky drains me to dust, and the universe falls to your thighs, and the silents of the sand consumes me, as you rhythm my fluted bones into your parched sea of salt.

Friday, December 2, 2011

My Love: XII: Till Distance Becomes Sorrow.



My love,

you do know that once the blue unfurled from my fingertips for you, and that the gaping mouth of light, lighted you, and in light and dark, in sea and earth, the flowers  of your eyes captured the sun and spun the air to webs and vines to bind me.

as the earth trembled you moved and your gravity enthralled trees and stone, and you gave order to the universe, and i revolved in your sway touching all sides of you and my celestial dreams filled the shadows and i pored the darkness into your open mouth, and then i delved into you, penetrating deep in to the secret and hidden, until my shadow dissolved in the opening you once granted me.


and the stars and precious veins of the earth relinquish the ebb and flow that defines you,
and i move through your flickering of light and dark, and i am trapped by the gravity of your motion, and in the void i am speechless,

my love. as the spheres sing out there fate and you are the universe, i linger in you, held by your tides and tug , imprisoned by your flowing blood, and i despair.


all i can do is flow with the your ebbs and currents, travel with your pull and attraction till distance becomes sorrow and i am released.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Love: IX The Estuary of Your Flesh.

my love

the estuary of your flesh flows the memory of evening, rising from a heated earth, as the falling angels stumble to flesh, the twilight of there wings flutter the decent, flapping in the  blue forever there  feathers drift like eyes in the deep past.
but i search the stones for your passing and drink there path of remembrance as i grasp the edges of your words and fit them around me and hold your meaning snug to my shoulders as despair rains, then seeds the drenched earth, and i fall into loss.

my love, i wander the foam pebbles of your eyes, and the volcanoes of air froth contentment with stone, and i travel the spring and breath in the hum of buds and unfurled flowers searching the change of seasons for a scent of you.

evening fires tell of you in the passing of flame, the wobble of smoke twists me and i travel the ache of forests longing for a taste of you, hoping you linger in the swift waves of young streams that beat the heart into the depth of night.

my love, i did so love you, but now the tumbled limbs of time finds bitter delight in my mouth, and now years have scalded me, dark  moments eaten into rock,  the swift river dry now, stones kissed and fondled smooth and now from this height in this rubbed moment, the friction of bodies chafe, there is no change, and the blooms of sadness become rivers chocked with ice

the summer was dozed through and tears grew deep walls but your voice still careens from rocks heralding the tearing ache of passing, i become a shivering cold,  falling into despair as singing eyes thick with voices and regret are swept into the hunger of the sea.

Friday, October 14, 2011

My Love: XI: Water On Stone

my love,

the breezes of your eyes captures and dispels the desolate wilderness that has grown into my chest, and the air of your tenderest gesture spills warmth from the edges of your touch into the sap of roots

i am  floundering in the wasteland that is my body, and the winds that are your touch  pulls the gasp of my heart from the dark of the woods, as the autumn leaves bat there eyes in the sharp scrape of the sun,

the memory of the tread of your passing delivers puffing clouds of chocking dust from the desert of my mouth and in the ripeness of your hands i walk the earthly corridor between sky and stone
and the sound of the horseshoe falls is a forlorn whisper of water on stone, and in the swaddling breeze your moist scent of first spring captures and imprisons the lost sound of your steps in the forest.

then evening drifts up from deep roads as shimmering tendrils of shadows  bind air and hearts, the darkness smothers the frail beating and spills over the curve of desire, and in the clasping dark i heave a breath snapping the thin silver threads of longing that has bound me to you
i travel the vast tundra and i know that you are the lost promised land uncharted unexplored and i am wayward, and the wine of my feet will travel every pebble strewn forest path through flicking gold and puffs of dust till the end of days.

my love, in the unfolding desolation i will listen to the tender rub of unfurled leaves in a thick fresh breeze clean with rain and spiced by sea. and your desert and plains will swaddle me  and hold me in  the rhythm of light  and dark  of winter and promised spring  and the unfurling of your swift white rivers will carry me to the crest of your tenderness

and the dark nights of your arms will embrace me and carry me from sun to star strewn sky and i will  drink the star light  and devour the alien sky till i have found the center of you to embrace and cup in my palms.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Shower.




she knelt in the sharp glare of light and the gloom of her private humiliation.
her arousal leaked and oozed from her.

left hand pulling and twisting a nipple.
her right hand sliding into a smooth slick urgency between her legs.

with tilted head she could barely contain her longing ache for this.

so many nights she touched herself and dreamed, and then wilted in shame

now the clash of dream and reality peeled away trepidation, fear , and self loathing.

she had never articulated this dream, never even hinted but somehow this man knew, saw into the lust that was her secret heart, understood the need that was her  intimate disgrace,

and had stripped her of resistant and taboos.


so now, kneeling, eyes hooded, mouth hot and moist in the sterile glare,

slowly he unzipped, then held his flaccid cock, her blue eyes widened.
against her pail skin her black hair framed the opening and unfurling of her deepest lust.

pausing a moment, neither breathed or moved, suspended in desire and anticipation, then the warm golden stream arched from his cock and splashed hotly on her face, her soul and body shivered ,
frantically both hands worked, the stream filled her half opened mouth, trailed down to her breasts and drummed against each nipple.

overcome with warmth, fulfillment and relief, she drooled piss down her chin then quickly greedily swallowed,

on the edge of the abyss, she trembled and shivered as her hand frantically rubbed and fingers cruelly pinched.

greedily beyond the restraint of her shame she twisted her body to catch as much of the golden flood as she could. mouth gaping she eagerly gulped as she orgasmed in tremors and spasms, and tears.


it was released, the flood gates were opened she had hidden this from everyone, boyfriends, her ex- husband , but now in that anonymous  bathroom,

in the sharp glare of light bulbs and chrome
this man had given her wings, unfettered her, with one golden shower had cleansed her soul of her deepest shame and most hidden of secrets.