the sharp serrated boundaries that delineate between what i am, and what i wish to be, is more than the distance between yesterday and tomorrow, more than the vast chasm that lays between light and dark.
the craving of a soul, trapped in flesh that contains and restrains, imprisons, strangles and stifles,eventual succumbs to its chains.
the rift between i, and want, at times for me seems insurmountable, unconquerable, uncontrollable, and sometimes those wishes seem lost in the mire of defeat and despair.
my inner phantoms haunt my shell of flesh and terrorize me. time, with the knowledge of time ticking down, of the seamless stream of moments that is slowly inevitably eroding me to nothing,a desperation jondices you eyes.
those specters of want, ghosts of desire, sink there claws deep into a tattered soul, drawing blood, and extracting a long thin howl of anguish.
each corps, each nightmare, holds up its longing vision to me, holds up its desire in stark contrast to the staid controlled exterior that is i, and mocks me.
behind my eyes, residing in the tower of sight i tend the loom of what could be and what is, sending its shuttle and bobbin in a tapestry of what is only lived inside , what is only ghosts of thoughts and dreams.
they lack substance and are devoid of any weight, yet still there presents weigh down my being.
stitched into my loom of denial, my stark numb years of repression and denial and fear, is a far richer existence than the fabric of my lived life.
inside the bog of my life, tangled in the grasping mud , the ooze that grabs and holds each step as i struggle in solitude and silence, frozen petrified and calcified by twisters and storms and jagged lighting strikes, i stand trapped between what is and what could be.
frozen in the steps that would free. roped and bound to me , the darkest parts of my need, imprisoned in living flesh, entombed in denial and repression.
the rage and strength of moments for control and dominance.
the throbbing secret need.
the need to tangle my fingers into the red flame of your hair, and twist it tight pulling your head back so that the tenderest part of your neck is surrendered to me,
in the curve of your bared neck i watch the frail alabaster skin slightly throb with your pulse.
my hand reaches, fingers circle around your neck, slowly, tenderly with passion begin to squeeze and choke the golden air from you.
your hooded eyes glaze with exceptenc and faith.
not a struggle from you as my hand tighten, only lust slowly filling your eyes, and you body responds, nipples pucker, cunt moistens. squeezing tighter, you surrender completely as your cunt lips drool and pre cum runs down your leg.
before you slip away before you fly into the stars and flames, i shove you to the counter and bend you over so the trapped air explodes from your burning lungs ,and i release my hand from around your throat.
my hand tightens in your hair pushing your face onto the cold counter, as my free hand claws at your pants, dragging them to your knees. my nails leave lines of red welts on your tender white ass.
in a moment my cock is out and driven into you and i batter you again and again, driving your hips to roughly bang against the sharp edge of the counter.
driving into you i yank your hair pulling your head off the counter, and reach around and pull at your hard nipples till you gasp.
hammering you, till beads of sweat form and tumble down onto your back, till your body responds, and you push back at me as violently as i savagely drive into you.
until in my frenzy i spasm and empty my self into you, and pause to gasp my breath, sinking all of my weight onto you.
long exquisite moments tick by as i grow soft and slide out of your cum filled cunt.
i yank you up and around then push you to your knees, for you to take me in your mouth and suck and lick off all the cum from my cock and balls.
your mouth alive with heat and desire, and the will to please, gobbles at me, relishing its task.
in your urgency you bob and pull till i am clean, then your lips and tongue try even harder, working feverishly at my semi hard cock till it hardens and fills your tiny mouth.
once hard i drive savagely into your gaping mouth again and again, hitting the back of your throat, then force myself even deeper as you relax your throat muscles.
in the haze of your want you drive your face into my groin attempting to swallow as much of me as possible,
till i spurt warm streams of cum down your throat, and my cock spasms and you eagerly swallow and suck every morsel from me.
but the distances, and boundaries bloom into my life, a dark garden that grows only dark things, and not one morsel of light enters, not one iota of light to warm and nourish those phantoms that knock again and again at my flesh demanding that they have there share of the light and warmth.
i stand knowing that the only boundaries are those that i myself have drawn and are only visible by me.
i am bound by the rope of my own making, and only i can find the strength to brake it, and cross those self imposed boundaries.