I Remember

a delicate sadness fell on me, as light and gentle as a single flake of downy snow, a sadness that chilled through me like this February night, as i stand on this porch, watching the fat slow snow flakes drift out of a dark and endless sky.

a sky as dark as my hidden desires, as black as my unspoken need i have to take your flesh to bite and tare and rend and to devour you.

i stand subdued in this storm, watching the sky and swirling snow for a sign, some portent that will make all clear to me. im waiting for the sky to open up, and a light to shine down amidst the singing of the holy host, and all will be revealed to me. i stand in this storm watching the black consuming sky and i wait, and wait and wait.

i am waiting for the call i know will come, and then i will be in the car slicing through snow and dark and time and space, to the subway to gather a part of my life, and return her to the safety of the home that i have made for her and her siblings.

the chill of the night rubs its palms of ice against my cheekbones then slides its fingers down my neck pulling from me a shiver. i raise my collar and try to pull as deep into my fortress of warmth as possible.

the cold of the storm balances the cold i feel , the cold of the loss of what i once had. once i possessed the heat that would sear the skin from ones hands. but the embers that i once juggled and handled at will have dimmed,and have grown cold and crumpled to ash.

that was a time of intensity of longing and desire. a time of a ravenous hunger that was insatiable, a hunger to the bone. a hunger for irish flesh, for celtic eyes, and hands that knew the language of my soul.

with the storm swirling about me, with downy flake landing and dissolving on my cheek i stair unseeing into the swirl and dark. and in that darkness time peels away and i fall back into the pools of my history and i willingly let myself sink into the the past. into a time when our bodies exploded again and again, and moments stretched into eternity and we were possessed and our bodies were held enthralled. a time when we drifted beyond the thin skin of this life, into the infinite.

and i remember the hunger for you.

the hunger for your delicate ankles to be spread and cinched to the posts of my bed. for your smooth legs to be held open and waiting for me. the hunger for your Ivory flesh and emerald eyes to fill me as i reach into you and take your body, and with my punishing hands and fingers that drew whimpers from your gasping mouth.

and i remember the thirst for you.

to liquefy your soul, to spill the essences of you into my hands and gaping mouth. to gulp you down, trap you in the bowl of my hands and squeeze your plump breasts,and to drew from you the wet flames from the sea of your hips.

i remember the yearning for you.

to capture your body with the ropes of my eyes and to bind you tight, wrapped in the web of my yearning. to peel your throbbing flesh from your submissive core, branding your body and stripping your flesh of its loneliness, and to stitch you whole with the cruelty of my mouth.

i remember the ache for you.

my palms and fingers throb and seek the heat and lust of your rocking hips and heaving breasts. my hands travel the ocean of your surrender and lose themselves in exquisite ache that my punishing hands give to you. my hands ache to redden and bruise the alabaster cheeks of your ass.

i remember the longing for you.

in the darkness of my despair i reach into the deep wells of your submission and capture the pain and longing of your need for the cruelty of my heart. i long to capture the torment of your flesh and to pull the treasured tears from your pleading eyes.

i remember the craving for you.

to punish your flesh and spirit with the whips and blades of my tainted love, to reduce the will of you to dripping begging need, and to drew from you the pools of flame from your loins, and to imprint my hand on each of your ass cheeks and watch with erect prick as you sway your burning ass looking for a deeper more soul satisfying spanking.

i remember the desire

i fall into the deepest pit of desire for you as the ropes i use to capture your limbs and hold you suspended in the air. and i bite and mouth and tongue the dripping parts of you till in your final release you scream and whine, clench and squirt your surrender to me .

i remember the starvation

i see in your eyes the starvation, i see your emaciated will starving for the pain for the loving hurt. starving for the bruises of love . i see in your eyes the starvation that drives you to me, the starvation for only my cruelty, the starvation for tears and ache that only my whips and floggers can satiate.

i remember the appetite.

in your darkest need, in your deepest despair i see the twisted hunger of your soul, i see your bottomless appetite. your appetite for loving abuse, for rough love that draws tears and blood, your endless appetite for rope and bondage, your appetite for my hurting hand, your endless need to be hurt, to swallow the pain, to weep the joy of your submission, and your appetite to be on your knees for me.

i remember, i remember.



i remember and im on the porch hypnotized by the swirling snow, by the darkness of the sky and the bleakness of my future. i am pulled from my trance by the buzz of my phone and i am back in the moment, empty and aching but in the moment.